Carne Asada and Church Concession to Cheerios

Posted by HB Saturday, January 9, 2010

I just returned from helping clean my church. Things have certainly changed in the church cleaning business. In the glory years of church janitorial duty, you could almost receive academic credit for cleaning the pews. That's because the church I attend is the only church I know where, during services, picnicking on the pews to pacify one's progeny is part of the culture and custom of the church.
In previous cleaning experiences, you would explore between the cushions and it would be like a Mesopotamian archeological dig, with emphasis on mess-o. Finding Fruit Loops meant that the Smith tribe had previously occupied this site. Cheerios fragments meant the Jones tribe had been sighted and documented. Crackers and cheese remnants was a step up the tribal food chain and indicated the Fosters had passed through the area.
I don't mean to be critical because my tribe also used to picnic on the pews in order to promote peace and quiet during services. None of us ever heeded the advice of the U.S. National Park Service which says, "You pack it in, you pack it out". Times have changed when it comes to church cleaning. That is because it appears to me my church has made a concession to Cheerios.
The newer church buildings now have pews that have a one-inch opening between the seats and backs of the new-style pews. My church is adamant that no members fall through the cracks, but there is now no problem with Cheerios and other food items falling through the pews and on to the floor.
This is a benefit for picnickers from other congregations that share the same building and meet after our group. They can now use some of the fall-through food as appetizers before unpacking their own picnic baskets. Real cleaning of the pews is a lost art. Now instead of digging for artifacts, a simple and quick vacuum of the carpet will do quite nicely.
It could be worse. My dad told me of a family where he grew up years ago in Southeast Arizona that were ranchers and big proponents of the beef industry. They didn't have Cheerios, but brought raw hamburger to church and fed it to their children during meetings. They must have liked their reverence rare. I don't usually associate church services with salmonella, but what do I know? When it comes to picnics on the pews, one man's crackers and Cheerios is another man's Carne Asada.

Disclaimer

This post should not be construed as an endorsement or lack of endorsement of Cheerios, Fruit Loops, Honeycombs, or the National Beef Council. It also neither an endorsement or lack of same for any of the picnic propensities of families in past, future, and current congregations in which I have resided, currently reside, or may reside. Further more, I apologize in advance to any whose religious leanings involve raw hamburger or any other forms of red meat.

1 Responses to Carne Asada and Church Concession to Cheerios

  1. John Says:
  2. I've enjoyed your cougarsportsline newsletter and find your blog comments very entertaining, perhaps because I also grew up in that great, laid-back, So Cal atmosphere. Anyway, good job!

     

Blog Archive

Thru the lens and life of HB

I'm an apprentice senior citizen who can't wait for my old-man discounts to kick in. At one time, HB stood for Healthy Baby, Hunky Body, Happy Bridegroom, HouseBroken and Half-Baked. My current HB status is Has-Been. A few more Happy Birthdays and Hardly Breathing can't be too far away. Then, hopefully it will be Heaven Bound. I will keep you posted.

Hefty Baby..................Healthy Boy

Hefty Baby..................Healthy Boy

Happy Bridegroom...Hare-Brained

Happy Bridegroom...Hare-Brained

Housebroken...........Has Been

Housebroken...........Has Been

Followers