I caught myself sneezing yesterday. Ah-Choo, Ah-Choo, Ah-Choo!
It got me to thinking. As an English-speaking sneezer, is sneezing and saying Ah-Choo culturally learned or is it a universal language?
What do Mexican sneezers snort when sneezing? Ah-Chimi-changa?
What about Chinese who suffer from allergies? Is it Ah-Chow Mein?
And what about Afghans? When they sneeze would I hear Af-Ghani-stan?
I've never really paid attention to the language of sneezing until now. I am going to apply for a Federal grant to study it. I think $3 million would do nicely.
To get a head start on the federally-funded project, if you happen to be Mexican, Chinese or from Afghanistan, could you please call, identify your nationality and sneeze into the phone?
All sneezes will remain strictly confidential.
If the study proves that sneezing is culturally learned, my next federally-funded study will be to scrutinize the sneezing differences between politicians and the public.
My personal research assistant. This particular nose is bi-lingual and bi-nostril.
Because politicians of both parties consider themselves to be superior in sneeze, and in some cases, sleaze, they Ah-Choose not participate in the health care program they have deemed just dandy for their constituents.
That federal grant will gag the public to the tune of trillions.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed about sneezes and sleazes in Congress are the opinions of myself, a certified sneezer and geezer and do not represent the opinions of thoughtful, respectful and responsible adults.
I have already gone through that phase of life. It was vastly overrated.
Should we also add the Utes to the list? :):)