House Broken husband

I am still on track to run a half marathon with my daughter Sep. 10 in Spanish Fork. Last Saturday our training regimen called for a ten-mile run. This is what old and fat looks like after ten miles.

Next Saturday it goes to 11 miles. We finally registered for the race and it had a disclaimer at the bottom of the form. It said, not recommended for old and fat men, but we will gladly accept your $35 entry fee anyway.
I will be glad when this ordeal is over so I can go back to living the life I was meant to live. I am referring to my life of drinking Dr. Pepper and eating Doritos while in my favorite recliner watching football. And trust me, $35 will buy a lot of Dr. Pepper and Doritos.

All the running groupies I met while being suckered in to buying some brand of shoe I have never heard of told me, "You must really be enjoying the endorphins produced by your running".

Those so called endorphins must be nesting with the swallows in Capistrano and haven't made it this far north yet. The only physical advantage I can actually see since running is that my rump is now tinier and more taut.

Big deal, as yet no Hollywood agent has approached me to see if I want to be a butt double for some movie star. To date the only butt calls I get are while driving in the left lane of the freeway while cruising at 45 mph.That happens to be 41 miles per hour faster than I am currently running.

We'll see what happens on September 10.


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