Walking on the Other Side of the Tracks

Posted by HB Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I had another one-lard bucket walk today. See two posts ago for the definition of a one-lard bucket walk.

I have lived a good ghetto life. When people talk about East LA, I tell them that compared to East Blythe it's no big deal. You don't live on Acacia Street or South Fifth, without it impacting your life...for better or worse. In my case, I like to think it was for the better.

If Orem has a ghetto, I'm in it. Not only do I live west of I-15, I also live on the other side of the tracks. I'm a ghetto guy and proud of it. Based on what I saw today on my walk, I might start giving ghetto tours. There would be the all expenses paid tour, the 1/2 day tour complete with lunch and the lifetime tour that includes a nice burial plot next to the tracks. For example.



I found this card this morning. Honest, a ghetto guy don't lie. It was next to the rail road tracks. See what I mean about an all expense paid trip?


With your card, you could have a nice 7-Eleven lunch. According to this receipt I found today, a Bahama Mama German Sausage sandwich and Cheetos were on the menu.


There are other menu choices on the ghetto tour. One tasty item is Chicken a la asphalt.


We may be ghetto, but we still believe in good dental hygiene, as evidenced by this dental floss found on the road today.


This is a road side flower. It is part of the ghetto burial tour and is included with your plot next to the tracks. I actually took a picture of a raccoon that didn't quite make it across the tracks, but was persuaded by those who are more sensitive and less ghetto than myself (Yes, there are all kinds that live across the tracks. It's a good thing that I am married to such a person), to pass on the postmortem picture of the raccoon and go for the flowers instead.

This will probably be my last ghetto post. With the newly found card next to the tracks, like the Jefferson's of TV sitcom fame, it looks like I may be movin' on up in life.

Honesty Disclaimer: I really did encounter all of the pictured items, plus much more on my walk this morning. It was an actual credit card, but one of those that are mass mailed to almost everyone and one that hadn't been activated. I took it home, cut it up and threw it away.

I also took the dental floss home for my personal use. It has a nice minty flavor with just a hint of the BF Goodrich tire taste coupled with a whiff of road kill raccoon mixed in.

2 comments

  1. keith Says:
  2. Having witnessed first-hand the mean streets of East Blythe, I would say HB is lucky to be alive. Obviously, the brother has skilz. And you don't even want to think about bein' in Ehrenberg or Ripley after dark. Night time aint no time to be in them 'hoods.

     
  3. Hi HB,
    I worked in the ghetto as a cop but had the smarts to not live there. We are having a basketball party at my house tomorrow "not in the ghetto" but if you can get here we will show you a good time.

     

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I'm an apprentice senior citizen who can't wait for my old-man discounts to kick in. At one time, HB stood for Healthy Baby, Hunky Body, Happy Bridegroom, HouseBroken and Half-Baked. My current HB status is Has-Been. A few more Happy Birthdays and Hardly Breathing can't be too far away. Then, hopefully it will be Heaven Bound. I will keep you posted.

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Hefty Baby..................Healthy Boy

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